What would Jesus not do?
Things Jesus would do:
- Flip tables
- Turn water into fine wine to save your wedding party
- Tell the weather outside to STOP
- Curse trees for producing shitty fruit
- Bring people back from the dead
- Go fishing
- Give you food
- Whatever the hell he wants to on the Sabbath
- Make furniture
- Walk across the ocean because you need to stop
This…is the best
As Stalkingstalkerthatstalks said: Canon Jesus is better than fanon Jesus.
Canon Jesus is better than fanon Jesus.
CAN I GET THAT ON A TSHIRT
Fanon Jesus is a white guy who hugs lambs
Canon Jesus is a sassy middle eastern guy who hung out with prostitudes and spread peace and acceptance of everyone
who also hugged lambs
IN THE NAME OF OUR LORD AND SAVIOR JESUS CHRIST, I FLIP THIS TABLE
Fun shark attack facts:
- In 1996, toilets injured 43,000 Americans a year. Sharks injured 13.
- In 1996, 2,600 Americans were injured by room fresheners. Sharks injured 13.
- In 1996, buckets and pails injured almost 11,000 Americans. Sharks injured 13.
- For every human killed by a shark, humans kill approximately two million sharks.
- Humans are assholes.
- Sharks are not assholes.
- Apparently everyone in 1996 lived in a real-life infomercial.